What Would You Say?
What would you say if you weren't scared of the consequences? What would you say if you were given a re-do on the last conversation you had with someone? What would you say if you ran into the "one that got away?" What would you say if you ran into someone who really hurt you?
I have always loved to write. I loved writing stories of dreams I had, love stories I cherished, or feelings I was having. Sometimes they were fictional, sometimes I was writing in a diary. I often wrote letters to people, expressing emotions I wouldn't necessarily express in person. Just so many years putting words to paper.
What I discovered was that there were so many things I left unsaid. So many times I found a video of me biting my tongue, holding back words I truly wanted to speak. I put a smile on my face when I wasn't happy with what I did. I held back my excitement, when all I wanted to do was jump up and scream. I found photos that still make my heart flutter. And I found conversations I've had where I had written a response and changed it. Looking back I realized every emotion was controlled. Every word was rehearsed. Every thought was inspected before it left my mouth.
I truly dislike living in the past and regretting things that I had done for two reason...
1) It was the past. I can't change any of it.
2) I had a pretty awesome life and I don't want to change any of it.
But with that being said, I wonder what I would say now if I was given the chance? Can I fix bridges that I burnt? Can I express emotions that I was too scared to show at the time? Is it too late for any of it?
With everything going on lately in our word, the unpredictability starts to get into your head. You begin realizing the fragility in the life. The time with people we took for granted, and the decisions we made out of fear, seem silly. That realization makes me want to forget all the pettiness I've experienced. It makes me want to continue moving forward. It makes me want to never hold back what goes through my brain. It makes me wonder what I say if I ran into the people that I always thought I had more time with.
What would you say if you didn't have your fear holding you back? And if you have the chance to say it, would you?